Menopause can be a positive or a difficult life stage, and the conversations which we have about it can be joyous but sometimes also painful. As with any discussion that might be emotionally challenging, there are some basic things we need to consider about how we act and respond to others. By doing this, we can ensure that we all have a safer and fairer experience.
Be non-judgemental
Take the time to listen to others and avoid passing judgement on them. There is no right or wrong reaction to have and we will all respond differently. You might have an emotional response, or you may not. Either way, do be kind to yourself and others throughout.
Go at a pace that feels right for your group
There is no set speed for the discussion and need to finish activities within a certain time. You may spend quite some time on one topic or activity, or you may work at a quicker pace. Discussions are likely to veer away from menopause, and that’s valid too.
Respect others
Some people may not want to discuss certain topics or share personal details. That is something we should all respect and we shouldn’t press people with questions if they do not wish to discuss something.
Maintain confidentiality
This means that whatever is shared within the group will not be spoken about outside of the group. It also means the discussions will not be recorded in any way. This allows people to speak more openly.
What to do if you feel upset or overwhelmed
Menopause can be an emotionally challenging topic and you may find conversations upsetting. Sometimes this comes as a surprise. Here are some things that you can do to help look after yourself:
Time after the discussion
Consider giving yourself time after the end of the work to think about what you discussed, but also time to gradually come back to the present moment. For example, you may want to do this while walking home or having a quiet moment on the sofa before launching back into your normal pace of life.
Have a safe topic ready
It can help to have a quick discussion in advance to think of a ‘safe topic’ for discussion. If you feel upset and need to move away from discussing something this can provide an easy way to bring yourself out of the moment and onto safer ground. This could be completely different to menopause, and be about your pets or even exciting holiday destinations.
Use grounding
If you become upset in a session you might wish to use something called ‘grounding’. This technique helps you focus on the present rather than any distressing emotions and even physical sensations you may be caught in. There are lots of different ways of grounding yourself but it could be simple as asking yourself to look around the room and start listing all the green coloured objects you can see. Another technique might be to have a cup of tea and really focus on the physical sensations of holding the mug and what it feels like to drink. Mainly, grounding is something that forces your mind to focus on the things around you and exclude any distressing thoughts you may be having.
Breathing
If you feel comfortable to do so, you could try some breathing techniques. These work a little like grounding in that they help us focus away from any distressing thoughts and physical feelings. For example, you might breath in for 5 seconds through your nose, hold for a beat, breath out for 7 seconds through your mouth. Repeat.
Pause
It sounds simple but remember to take a pause if you need to, or perhaps suggest a pause if you can see someone else might be struggling. As we said earlier, there is no rush so you can take your time and pause if you need to (perhaps moving to a safe topic or breaking for a cup of tea).
